Sunday, March 2, 2008
Longing.....
Our church has an adoption meeting for families that are interested in adopting or have adopted. There was a meeting today so I went. My dearest friend Tonya and two other families were going to be sharing their testimony about their adoptions. Tonya and her husband adopted from China, another family adopted their baby in Michigan and the other family adopted their baby in California. I have to admit that it was terribly hard to be there!! I know that is very self-centered of me. I was soooooooooooooooooooo very happy for all of them but longing for my baby to be in my arms. I know that the Lord's timing is PERFECT! I know that He loves me and that He will bring us to her at just the right time and I trust Him COMPLETELY!!!! It is so very hard to put into words though how my heart is feeling right now. It is like there is a hole in my heart that only my little Hope can fill. It seems like some days the hole is more noticeable than others. Today, it feels soooooo big that it is hard to take a breath. It is so overwhelming that all I can do is cry out to God and ask Him to take the pain. It is so unbearable right now! I know that this will pass. I just pray it passed quickly!!! I apologize to anyone that is reading this!! I just needed to get this out! Thank you Tonya for being such a wonderful friend!! And thank you Noelle for letting me love all over you, it really made me feel better to hold you!!! :)
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2 comments:
Hey there,
It's wonderful to hear an update on you guys. We think of your family so much. I so know your longing and how hard it can be. When Max was a baby we made the decision to not have anymore children and have regreted it from that day. However, I truly feel like God has revealed that more children WILL be in our future. How? I don't know. It is soooo hard to trust though some days, and to not feel like the world is breaking apart, and everywhere you look people are being blessed. You want to be happy for them, and you really truly are, but sometimes it's just too forced. Does that make sense?
Anyway, the invitation always stands for you guys to come visit us. Can't wait to read your updates!
Hey Richards Family,
We love you guys and are so excited to see that the Lord is putting that fire in you once again! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you and what Hope will look like! I know how you feel Angle and I'm praying with you that the Lord sees fit to bring Hope into your family very soon! Hang in there and stay focused on your mission and what your part is and get that paperwork done! I came across a verse this morning and it made me think about you and Ken and thought I'd share it with you.....
If you need wisdom-if you want to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. BUT when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They waver back and forth in everything they do. James 1:5-8 This made me think about our conversation concerning SN child. I know you both have been drawn to this program but have some reservations and fear with not knowing which child to petition for and when. I want to just encourage you guys to TRUST that and rest in the knowledge that He is only going to let you be matched with your Hope! Don't worry that you'll pick the wrong child....He knows and He will guide you! Not sure how many times you may have to petition for a child, but your family will be chosen when it's His time and when it's Hope!
Check this out....further down in the same chapter I see this....
Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles.... James 1:27
I think that's pretty cool that both those verses are in the same chapter. You know this is what the Lord wants for your family and you both have sought His will so now it's taking each step in faith even if it seems scary or impossible.
Remember....with God ALL things are possible!
I LOVE you,
Tonya
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